


School Is For Losers, Visit Oregon With A Demon Instead

by Neelh



Series: Transcendence [4]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 23:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4938064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neelh/pseuds/Neelh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saffron is called Sixer and almost gets a heart attack. Alcor is going to have to find some way of explaining this to a panicked child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	School Is For Losers, Visit Oregon With A Demon Instead

**Author's Note:**

> this won't make sense without reading how to make a deal when you're a ten year old, but basically this is a reincarnated mystery twins classic in the transcendence au

September is one of the worst times of year.

There was no more running about from the start to the end of the day and staying up late to welcome their mother home with warm milk and a perfectly made and mysteriously softer than usual bed.

Okay, so they may have asked Alcor for help with that one.

But they have to start school again, and Year Six is their final part of primary school, and it is going to be utterly terrifying. The kids who pushed Stacey around until she knocked one out cold would still snicker behind their backs and the teachers who acted like the twins are completely capable children who fully understood instructions that weren’t designed for their brains to follow and the bus drivers who refused to let them on unless they were with an adult.

So after their first day back at school, when the other pupils are waiting for their parents to pick them up in the playground and take them home, Stacey hangs back in the classroom with Saffron and opens her English exercise book to the last page. She draws a small summoning circle in the top right hand corner with smooth, practised pencil strokes.

“What are you _doing_?” Saffron asks her sister in a hushed whisper.

“Summoning Alcor, what does it look like, sis?” replies Stacey. “Give me your elbow, I don’t think the scab’s healed yet.”

Saffron groans and rolls up her worn school sweatshirt. “We’re going to get expelled for this, you know,” she grumbles.

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them,” grins Stacey. She picks the scab from Saffron’s skin and says, with the most self-important voice she can muster, “Alcor, I summon you forth to do my bidding! Egassem sdrawkcab, egassem sdrawkcab, egassem sdrawkcab!”

When Alcor appears on their plane of existence, flame burning in his eyes, he can only hold the position for three seconds before they all start laughing.

“Keep it down,” says Saffron between giggles. “The teacher might come back!”

Alcor snorts. “Then we’ll have to kill them, won’t we?”

“Look at us poor, innocent children,” giggles Stacey. “Someone protect us from the big scary demon and his little fluffy sheep!”

There is silence for a moment, before Alcor says, “I really haven’t taught you that summoning demons is highly dangerous, haven’t I?”

Saffron shrugs. “Well, I knew regardless. Stacey’s just _overstepping a line without realising_ , aren’t you?”

Stacey blows a raspberry, and small chuckles replace the awkward silence.

“But seriously, I need a sacrifice to stick around for any longer,” Alcor adds. “Who wants to make a deal?”

 

-

 

One half of a saved lunch later, Alcor – in a far more unassuming form – shows up at the school gates to free the two girls. Stacey clambers onto his orange polo shirt-clad shoulders, while Saffron simply walked beside them, making them seem like a normal family.

“So, what did you two learn today?” he asks.

Saffron shrugs as her sister plays with the powerful demon’s brown hair. “Well, we mostly got an overview of what we’re going to be learning this year. We’re finally going to be told the various summoning circles for demons and what they do, but that’s on Fridays and it’s mostly going to be all fearmongering with no actual educational substance.”

Alcor grins, far too wide and with much too pointy teeth, but Saffron has grown to ignore that part. “How about we teach them how it _really_ works?”

“Hell yes!” Stacey shouts, making a few pedestrians turn their heads. She giggles as Dipper shushes her, and repeats, in a much quieter tone, “Hell _fucking_ yes.”

“How about no?” Saffron says, exasperated. “You’ll probably give Mrs. Lyndon a heart attack.”

Stacey pouts.

“I knew a guy who had a heart attack once,” Alcor says conversationally. “He was pretty cool.”

“Did he, you know, die?” asks Stacey, fiddling with a lock of Alcor’s hair.

Alcor laughs. “Everyone dies, Stacey. It’s part of being human. Their minds don’t do too well after a couple of centuries.”

The girl groans and flops backwards so she hangs upside down, supported by her knees over Alcor’s shoulders and her ankles crossed over his chest. “Yeah, duh, but did he die of the heart attack?”

With a shrug, Alcor says, “Yes, but it was his sixth one. Typical of him. Six friends, six fingers, and six tries to get him to kick it. Sixer was a good name for him.”

“ _Sixer_?” Saffron says, her voice reaching an octave that only dogs and demons could hear. “But I have six fingers!”

She wiggles her visibly five-fingered hands to emphasise the point.

“Calm down, Saffron,” Alcor says nervously. “Polydactyly isn’t uncommon.”

“But you call me Sixer!” she says, flapping her hands with a look of fear. “Am I going to have a heart attack?”

Alcor sighs. “I’m going to need a library for this.”

 

-

 

The library that Alcor had selected turns out to be one of the strangest places that Saffron has ever seen, and one time, she saw a dead pixie floating in a bucket of Gremoblin vomit.

They had been blipped to Oregon from their hometown, due to the local library’s lack of any books on the supernatural that were not basic books from the last couple of decades about what a fairy was or not to under any circumstances summon a demon such as Alcor the Dreambender, the Twin Star, the Consumer of Dreams and the Father of Nightmares, yadda yadda.

The Stanley Pines Memorial Library is humongous. Gigantic. Big as fuck. Possibly alive.

Saffron is going to love it.

Stacey is going to get lost at some point.

But Alcor knows this building, and it knows him, and it guides him and the two girls through the maze of books that have grown from the small collection that it started with by a shimmering blue light.

“Here we are,” he says, standing in front of a musty shelf that looks as though it hasn’t been touched in fifty years.  There are stickers over the wood and the books, some puffy, some sparkly, all centuries old yet still protected. The biggest stickers are at the top, each an individual letter in a different colour, reading _Pines Family of Mabel and her Dorks_.

“Who’s Mabel?” asks Stacey, reading the letters slowly.

“None of your beeswax,” Alcor replies shortly, looking through the shelves. There is a long pause, before he adds, “Mizar. My twin.”

Saffron furrows her brows. “Like, metaphorical or literal?”

“ _Definitely_ literal,” he groans. “I swear, if either of you two ever read Twin Souls, I am going to remove all of those memories from your head and possibly exchange your mind with that of a slug. No more questions, I found the book.”

He pulls out a large floral cloth-bound book. The edges are worn, but it seems to have been handled and repaired with care too many times to count. When Alcor places the book on the ground, he opens it with the utmost care to the contents page, which has been written in obnoxious yellow glittery gel pen.

“Damn, this takes me back,” he murmurs, before flipping to the page that Mabel had labelled with _Two Grunkles for the Price of One!_.

Saffron and Stacey look over his shoulders in awe at the ancient picture of two old men. Stacey’s face falls quickly. “Who the hell are these people and why are they important?”

Alcor points carefully to both of the men in the photo in turn. “That’s Stanley Pines, and that’s his twin Stanford. And, well, they’re you two.”

Both of the sisters stare at him blankly. “What the fuck?” Stacey says.

“You’re reincarnations of an old con artist and his twin who got trapped in between dimensions for thirty years,” says Alcor with a shrug. “Congratulations?”


End file.
